Heavenly Jewel Change Volume 5 (Chapter 25 - Chapter 35)

“So there really is a beautiful girl! Where?!” Luo Ke Di immediately perked up at the sound of that.

Zhou Weiqing blinked, thinking to himself: What sort of person was this? Was this really the well respected Heavenly Bow Unit that Shangguan Bing’er mentioned? Why does he seem so similar to that weird old man! Of course, he isn’t as vulgar as that old rascal, but he’s a lot more straightforward.

Zhou Weiqing turned and waved towards Shangguan Bing’er, beckoning her over, and she immediately started walking over. As she did so, Zhou Weiqing heard Luo Ke Di muttering to himself: “Looks not bad, but only 33 inches… not my type.” Very quickly, Shangguan Bing’er had reached them and she gave a respectful bow and senior: “Hello Senior.”

Luo Ke Di’s narrowed eyes suddenly lit up, and he said: “A blemish does not obscure a jade [1. Pros outweigh the cons]! Although a little small, but extremely likable.”

To Shangguan Bing’er, when he said small, she naturally thought he was referring to her age, but Zhou Weiqing instantly knew what he was referring to, and without batting an eyelid, he said: “Senior, there’s a top quality one over there.”

“Eh? Where?” Luo Ke Di immediately perked up.

Zhou Weiqing pointed to a lady who was sitting alone at a table just a short distance away. She was eating alone, and there were several dishes lined up on her table. The strange thing was that although the entire hall was nearly filled up to 80% capacity, the tables surrounding her were still empty.

The woman’s back was facing Luo Ke Di, and he had not noticed her previously. However, now that he looked closely, his heart trembled. Her head of black hair was combed neatly behind, with a graceful figure and a long green dress that seemed to be of extraordinary quality. The thing that attracted Luo Ke Di most was that, from the angle he had, he could see that her bosom was of imposing size. “At least 38 inches! Heavens! That is literally a Lethal ‘Weapon’! It’s probably an F Cup too! That is truly a rare, magnificent sight.”

Luo Ke Di swallowed hard before turning to Zhou Weiqing and saying solemnly: “Hey lad, I’ll go pay the bill, and when I walk past the table, you call out to me. You know what I mean!” As he said that, he winked at Zhou Weiqing, then started walking towards the green clad lady. Zhou Weiqing gave him a knowing smile, but Shangguan Bing’er started and asked curiously: “What does he mean?”

Zhou Weiqing grinned and said: “He’ll walk over, and I’ll call him, and he can use the opportunity to turn around and look at her.”

Shangguan Bing’er got a strange look in her eyes as she said: “Is he… really the person we’re looking for? Why is he even worse than you…”

By now, Luo Ke Di had walked past the table, and Zhou Weiqing quickly cooperated and called out: “Luo Ke Di, you still have half a bottle of wine unfinished here!”

With the cue given, Luo Ke Di turned around in a suave motion, it was such a natural, innocent movement, and his eyes just ‘happened’ to rest on the lady sitting alone.

In the next instant, Luo Ke Di seemed to freeze in place, his entire body stopping and not moving an inch, in his mind two phrases reverberated… So big… Save me… Indeed, that green clad lady had a pair of lethal ‘weapons’; as expected it was an F cup of massive proportions. However, the problem was, her face was also a true lethal weapon! The left side of the face was like the surface of the moon, full of craters and pockmarks, and the right half of the face was filled with pimples. Her thick sausage lips stretched almost to both ears, while the pair of unevenly placed beady eyes glittered with yellow light. The strangest thing was that, her face was strangely shaped, with the top part small and a wide jaw, and her chin filled with some stubble. Top quality [2. It’s the direct translation of , which was difficult to TL here, as Zhou Weiqing used it earlier with a different connotation. In Chinese it can have several meanings, including top quality, and… the reverse as well. You can think of it as being used ‘sarcastically’]… this was indeed an unbelievable top quality; even if you tried to look like that, it would be difficult!

From Zhou Weiqing and Shangguan Bing’er’s angle, they could see that Luo Ke Di’s face turned red, then white, and green, and purple… His chest heaving as he wrestled with his emotions.

At that time, the ‘lethal weapon’ looked up to see Luo Ke Di staring at her, and immediately gave him a coquettish look and said: “This handsome gentleman, would you like to have a meal with me?”

Luo Ke Di’s expression suddenly calmed down, and he seemed to recover himself, saying unhurriedly: “My apologies, beautiful lady, I would love to do so but I’m afraid I have some urgent business to take care off. Perhaps next time.” He then looked back at Zhou Weiqing and Shangguan Bing’er and said passively: “I’ll be waiting for you both outside.” After he said that, he turned around in a suave, charming manner, and walked off. Although he looked extremely calm, Zhou Weiqing could see that his steps were growing ever faster, and as soon as he reached the exit of the Di Hao Inn, Zhou Weiqing could hear the faint sounds of retching.

Zhou Weiqing’s face revealed a brilliant, honest looking smile, and he turned to Shangguan Bing’er and said: “Looks like this Senior Luo isn’t feeling very well! Let’s go as well Bing’er. Don’t look back!” As he said that, he pulled Shangguan Bing’er towards the exit, and he thought evilly to himself: You old fellow, trying to fantasize about my wife, that’s your punishment! Hmph!

As soon as they left the inn, they saw Luo Ke Di squatting down at the corner of the exit, vomiting his guts out. The smell of alcohol filled the air, and clearly he had just expelled everything he had eaten and drank.

Zhou Weiqing pulled Shangguan Bing’er further away, with his signature smile still on his face. Although Shangguan Bing’er didn’t know exactly what had happened, but she could guess a little, and she said softly: “Little Fatty, you’re too mean!”

Zhou Weiqing said gently: “As they say, tit for tat is fair play. I’m truly suspicious about what my dad said about this Unparalleled Liu Duo, could it be the Liu of Liu Mang [3. - basically means rogue]?”

After some time, Luo Ke Di finally recovered, and as he lifted up his head to look at Zhou Weiqing and Shangguan Bing’er, his expression was surprisingly unperturbed, as if nothing had happened earlier. Walking close to the two of them, he smiled as he said to Zhou Weiqing: “Little bro, is that what you call top quality?”

Zhou Weiqing’s face expression was honest and guileless, and with a hint of confusion in his voice, he said: “Yes! When I walked passed her just now, I was extremely shocked too. Such a top quality ugly lady, it’s hard to find in the world. Senior, what happened to you just now? Is your stomach upset?” Luo Ke Di’s expression looked somewhat depressed, and he sighed lightly as he said: “Indeed top quality… anyway, you both, come with me.” As he said that, he started walking towards the Heavenly Bow City’s exit.

Being looked at by that depressed look, Zhou Weiqing suddenly felt a chill run down his spine, as if he had been bitten by a venomous snake. That man… was certainly one of a kind as well [4. Yet another meaning of ]. As Luo Ke Di walked slowly in front, he led the pair out of the Heavenly Bow City, to the left and about 500 metres forward before he finally stopped.